I. Runneth not about as like onto poultry which is missing of its head, but go forth with practiced plans instead.

II. Heed ye the admonitions of thy instructors - To reachth and throwth before thou goeth.

III. Go forth not into frigid conditions without serious thermal protection, lest thy companions returnth home without thee.

IV. Say thou “Nay” to those who would cast aside devices for personal flotation for who so follows their word is not long for this world.

V. Leave thou not the shore unless tethered unto it, for thy rope is thy redeemer in times of trouble.

VI. If the ice should fail beneath thy feet, casting thee into frigid waters, fear not for Gumby is the name of thy saviour.

VII. Approachth funky ice upon thy belly, slithering as like unto the bright orange serpent, lest thou breakth through and victimize thyself.

VIII. Take thee heed to secure thy victims with utmost care, lest they slippeth from thy grasp and vex thee most horridly.

IX. Handle thy victims with care as they are beset with acute hypothermia and thou can easily causeth their untimely demise.

X. Say thee not words of great frustration and damnation whilst on-site, for surely the media shall overhear and publicize thy indiscretions.